"Marrying ones own father"????????????

[Paramananda das]

Dandavat pranams

All glories to Srila Prabhupada

I was talking to some siksa disciples, whose wedding I am going to do in a months time , and the question came up why are younger devotee women marrying older devotee men, is this not like marrying ones own father?

My response is this:

The whole world is based on the trouble between male and female.

SB 4.25.32, Translation and Purport:

Nārada continued: My dear King, when Purañjana became so attracted and impatient to touch the girl and enjoy her, the girl also became attracted by his words and accepted his request by smiling. By this time she was certainly attracted by the King.

By this incident we can understand that when a man is aggressive and begins to woo a woman, the woman becomes attracted to the man. This process is described in the Bhāgavatam (5.5.8) as puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etam. This attraction is enacted on the platform of sexual life. Thus the sex impulse is the platform of material engagement. This conditional life, the platform of material sense enjoyment, is the cause of forgetfulness of spiritual life. In this way a living entity's original Kṛṣṇa consciousness becomes covered or converted into material consciousness. Thus one engages in the business of sense gratification.

Comment: I have seen how devotee some women also chase men in the temple and claim the men started it ,because they want to get to them, and marry them so the aggresion may be from both sides due to the mode of passion,just ugly business...

Srimad Bhagavatam, Fifth Canto, Chapter 5: Lord Ṛṣabhadeva's Teachings to His Sons

SB 5.5.7

SB 5.5.9

His Divine Grace A. C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupāda

TEXT 8

puṁsaḥ striyā mithunī-bhāvam etaṁ tayor mitho hṛdaya-granthim āhuḥ ato gṛha-kṣetra-sutāpta-vittair janasya moho 'yam ahaṁ mameti

SYNONYMS

puṁsaḥ—of a male; striyāḥ—of a female; mithunī-bhāvam—attraction for sexual life; etam—this; tayoḥ—of both of them; mithaḥ—between one another; hṛdaya-granthim—the knot of the hearts; āhuḥ—they call; ataḥ—thereafter; gṛha—by home; kṣetra—field; suta—children; āpta—relatives; vittaiḥ—and by wealth; janasya—of the living being; mohaḥ—illusion; ayam—this; aham—I; mama—mine; iti—thus.

TRANSLATION

The attraction between male and female is the basic principle of material existence. On the basis of this misconception, which ties together the hearts of the male and female, one becomes attracted to his body, home, property, children, relatives and wealth. In this way one increases life's illusions and thinks in terms of "I and mine."

PURPORT

Sex serves as the natural attraction between man and woman, and when they are married, their relationship becomes more involved. Due to the entangling relationship between man and woman, there is a sense of illusion whereby one thinks, "This man is my husband," or "This woman is my wife." This is called hṛdaya-granthi, "the hard knot in the heart." This knot is very difficult to undo, even though a man and woman separate either for the principles of varṇāśrama or simply to get a divorce. In any case, the man always thinks of the woman, and the woman always thinks of the man. Thus a person becomes materially attached to family, property and children, although all of these are temporary. The possessor unfortunately identifies with his property and wealth. Sometimes, even after renunciation, one becomes attached to a temple or to the few things that constitute the property of a sannyāsī, but such attachment is not as strong as family attachment. The attachment to the family is the strongest illusion. In the Satya-saṁhitā, it is stated:

brahmādyā yājñavalkādyā

mucyante strī-sahāyinaḥ

bodhyante kecanaiteṣāṁ

viśeṣam ca vido viduḥ

Sometimes it is found among exalted personalities like Lord Brahmā that the wife and children are not a cause of bondage. On the contrary, the wife actually helps further spiritual life and liberation. Nonetheless, most people are bound by the knots of the marital relationship, and consequently they forget their relationship with Kṛṣṇa.

comment:

  So for most grhastha life becomes grhamedhi life, many do not follow the principle of no illicit sex in family life and thus it becomes grhamedhi life.Srila Prabhupada once told Brahmananda and other devotees in Vrindavana that if grhasthas sleep in the same room they will sonner or later engage in illicit sex.So real family life means separation in this sense.

Separate sleeping quaters.And no illicit sex.  I previously  have written an essay about grhastha life called "Jump in Swim around and drown". http://nimaipandit.ning.com/profiles/blogs/jump-in-swim-around-and-...

and another one about remarriage: http://nimaipandit.ning.com/profiles/blogs/krsna-is-the-only-husban...

I read one vers in Srimad Bhagavatam where it is stated when Lord Brahma created the first sages everyone was detached from matter, and only when he created women to go along with material creation then all jivas got ensnared by maya.Lord Kapila says men is maya for women, and women is maya for men.

See also: http://www.vaniquotes.org/wiki/SB_09.19.17_matra_svasra_duhitra_va....

One brahmacari page made me laugh because they talked about simply tying the kaupins harder as a solution to sex desires.However the solution is KC developing a higher taste, chanting and reading sastra and strict diet.

Lord Caitanya for example showed by example to rarely  touch Maha sweets offered to Jagannatha but only take  Sakha and rice .prasadam, and He used to not take in the home of anyone that did not chant 64 rounds daily...

See  also Nectar of instruction vers 1 and purport. As Kali yuga is progressing many people are becoming more and more degraded. Controlling sex desires and purifying the heart through KC is a must. Lord Caitanya mercifully gave the holy name and Srila Prabhupada came to give us all this transcendental knowledge and renounciation.We just have to take fully advantage and not fall into the dark well of grhamedhi life. And yes who marries younger and older and remarries etc is all about getting free from the bodily concept of life and surrender to Krsna.And older women marrying younger devotee men also.The whole business is ugly, KC couples should stay fixed in no illicit sex and not remarry but help each other become fully KC and go back home to Godhead...So many issues are there on this sex business, even persons that are gay in the sannyasa asrama but claim to be renounced from women and later found to still having gay sex...And it does not look good when a sannyasi marries his own female disciple that is like marrying ones own daughter...it is disgusting and very very demoniac and degraded.

Bilvamangala Thakura used to be addicted to the prostitute Cintamani , but he ended up becoming KC and wrote the famous Krsna Karnamrta, that Lord Caitanya relished and brought with Him from South India.( not an excuse for anyone though)

http://bvml.org/VS/SBT_skk.html

your servant

Paramananda das