on the aupiscious 100th Vyasa puja celebration of my beloved Gurudeva Srila Bhaktivedanta Narayana Maharaja

[Paramananda das]

on the aupiscious 100 Vyasa puja celebration of my beloved Gurudeva Srila Bhaktivedanta Narayana Maharaja I am offering this to his lotusfeet :
dear Srila Gurudeva
Please accept my humble obaisences thrown in the dust of your lotusfeet
all glories to Sriman Mahaprabhu and Sri Sri Radha Binodbihari
In 1986 while serving in ISKCON Vrindavana, I was send by the Temple president Damodara Pandit Prabhu , to Mathura to collect donations for the annual Janmastami souvenir printed by ISKCON Vrindavana.He said I want you stay at Srila Narayana Maharajas temple in Mathura ,it is Gaudiya math temple.I asked if that was ok to stay there,He said Srila Narayana Maharaja was very close to Srila Prabhupada and knew him for years before coming to USA and this is where Srila Prabhupada took sannyasa.Also Srila Prabhupadas Sri Mahaprabhu Deity is there.I was surprised because I was always taught Gaudiya Math do not like Srila Prabhupada and I was of course very wrongly indoctrinated in ISKCON about this .
Srila Gurudeva you gave classes every morning and I would sit and listen though I did not understand Hindi , so you kindly translated the classes for me personally .I especially recall one class about how Laxmidevi could not enter the Rasa Lila. You really got into the details , that I had never heard before that Laxmidevi was still attached to Her Husband Lord Narayana ,She also was attached to the opulence of Vaikuntha , and not willing to become a simple Gopi of Vraja ,making cow patties with Her lotushands ,thinking them to exalted for such a service.You went on and on and I had read this pastime in Caitanya Caritamrta when Lord Caitanya explained this to Vyenkata Bhatta .After class you invited me into your room Srila Gurudeva and asked me many personal questions.You was more concerned about me than anyone I had ever met in ISKCON, I very quickly understood why you was a dear friend and godnewphew of Srila Prabhupada.You also had a set of Srila Prabhupadas books in your small room.Soon many Mathuravasis would come and meet you and take guidance from you .I was so impressed by your genuine love and concern for everyone ,and you was free from all material desires I could tell that very fast.No ambition for name ,fame profit and distinction ...Also you where always chanting Japa that I really liked very much ,because in ISKCON often you would get told do not chant so much Japa but I would see you chant constantly when you where not preaching to someone. I was there in Mathura for around a week seeing all the life members of ISKCON in Mathura and ask for donation for the Janmastami souvenir and shops had adds in that souvenir.
After this I would visit you every year when I was in Vrindavana and you would also always be happy to meet me again.In 1989 you advised me to chant 64 rounds daily and you also told me that I can tell you are very much attached to the Priya Narma sakhas, I am sure this is your Sthiya Bhava ,your eternal relationship with Sri Sri Krsna Balarama. You told me to daily study Manah Siksa by Srila Raghunath das Goswami and especially read all the books of Srla Bhaktivinoda Thakura very carefully ,you pointed out Caitanya Siksamrta would be very important for me.I took these instructions to heart gradually I had been chanting 64 rounds on and of since I joined ISKCON , but not steady every day year after year that would take me time to get to that standard.I shared your association with some devotees in Vrindavana and that is when the infamous Gopi club started because many socalled senior ISKCON devotees went to you and asked you about Krsna and the Gopis.However they did not take your instruction to chant 64 rounds daily to heart .So it was an artificial interest in the Gopis that Srila Prabhupada did not like.He had banned a previous Gopi club in the 70th.Srila Bhaktisiddhanta Prabhupada has explained it is ok to study all the books of the Goswamis and one should be eager to read all of them but also one should be chanting 64 rounds daily and within 20 years assimilate all these teachings.Fingers where pointed at you Srila Gurudeva but you merely tried to help these devotees.Srila Prabhupada told you in 1977 ,if anyone from ISKCON, comes to you please help and guide them .So you always wanted to help us all .You started your world tour in 1996, that time I was serving in Bhaktivedanta manor in England ,distributing Srila Prabhupadas books and you came to the temple.That day the temple president had asked me to lead Gurupuja, you told me my singing the Guru puja was very beautiful and powerful.I was honored to hear this from your lotusmouth.I felt it .Unfortunundeserved. I went to see you in the house of Subal Sakha Prabhu .I had a question it was realted to your statement that Lord Narasimha once appeared as half cat and half lion..You told me Srila Gurudeva that you read this in the commentaries of the acaryas and was not sure, but you would look into it.I later found out this form is Bidal Narasimha.I told you I wanted to write a book about Lord Narasimha and you asked me some questions , you said , your research and this book will be very important for Gaudiya Vaisnavas , I felt honored you would say something like that I had not even written the book yet, but I took this as important encouragement. Because I did not feel myself qualified at all .But you always made us all feel qualified and that we could become more and more qualified and more and more empowered in Krsna consciouenss.You fanned every ones sparks of bhakti and made them into fires and blazing fires.In 1999 I took reinitiation from you and you gave me the name Paramananda das and told me to chant 64 rounds daily. In 2001 I was made manager for your festival in Virginia with over 1000 devotees, a week long Hari Katha program we had in Prince Williams forest park .You was very pleased with me and asked I take sannyasa and travel with you all over the world. I had entered grhastha asrama and my son was only 3 years old ,so I asked you ,if you think I should still leave grhastha asrama with such a small son?You said stay in grhashta asrama but be detached like Sukadeva Goswami that walked out on even his father Srila Vyasadeva at the time of his birth giving up all attachments to this world.There are so many beautiful things I can say about you Srila Gurudeva , but I want to make this offering short and to the point.I am missing your association and I pray I may serve in Goloka Vrindavana under your guidance.
your eternal servant
Paramananda das