"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

[Paramananda das]

  

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dear devotees

Please accept my humble obaisences

All glories to Srila Prabhupada

When I went to the temple recently to meet Gopal Krsna Maharaja , because I am  going to Kenya for 2 weeks , I ended up in stead having to endure the madness of Jayadvaita Swami.He has back stapped me so many times in the past so I am not surprised.

Actually the critic of not getting books from BBT is useless, because I am trying to save persons drowning in Samsara.I have no time for the internal politics and deviations of ISKCON.My job is to assist Srila Prabhupada save fallen souls drowning in Samsara.Recently a young man saved a drowning man at a beach in Florida and got fired because of a technicality .
http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/lookout/lifeguard-fired-florida-job-offer-

I am Srila Prabhupadas "lifeguard for 33 years" I have been "fired and rehired "so many times by BBT , according to their local politics in different zones.Now I am a "free lance   Prabhupada life guard" distributing Srila Prabhupadas books to who ever I meet.I do not need any recognition of this material world, or have my name on the sankirtana newsletter.I have been there hundreds of times, it has no value to me.Srila Prabhupada knows me and knows my service attitude, so many will remain envious .Because when you distribute Srila Prabhupadas so many pseudo devotees become jealous and envious, unless they directly benefit financially or the get the credit for my bookdistribution. I have no time for all this

  When Jesus Christ left this world he quoted one vers from the psalms of David:

“Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?,” "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"

King David has prayed:

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from helping me,  and from the words of my groaning?

So often in my life I have been tested by Krsna, very very difficult test, and I feel sometimes I have not past these tests.

   Jesus predicted before he was cruxified that Peter would denie him 3 times before morning rise, and that came to pass.

Similarly we also fail God all the time, we denie His personal help and extending His hands to us again and again.

Lord Brahma took tests by Krsna    differently  and has stated:

tat te 'nukampāḿ su-samīkṣamāṇo

bhuñjāna evātma-kṛtaḿ vipākam

hṛd-vāg-vapurbhir vidadhan namas te

jīveta yo mukti-pade sa dāya-bhāk

TRANSLATION

My dear Lord, one who earnestly waits for You to bestow Your causeless mercy upon him, all the while patiently suffering the reactions of his past misdeeds and offering You respectful obeisances with his heart, words and body, is surely eligible for liberation, for it has become his rightful claim.

So what do we do when we get mistreated? I know I often retaliate as the persons are doing so many things in ignorance.What did Jesus say on the cross?

"Forgive them dear God they do not know what they are doing"

David has beautifully written:

1 My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me? why art thou so far from helping  me, and from the words of my roaring?

2 O my God, I cry in the daytime, but thou hearest not; and in the night  season, and am not silent.

3 But thou art holy, O thou that inhabitest the praises of Israel.

4 Our fathers trusted in thee: they trusted, and thou didst deliver them.

5 They cried unto thee, and were delivered: they trusted in thee, and were  not confounded.

6 But I am a worm, and no man; a reproach of men, and despised of the people.

7 All they that see me laugh me to scorn: they shoot out the lip, they shake  the head, saying.

8 He trusted on the Lord that he would deliver him: let him deliver him,  seeing he delighted in him.

9 But thou art he that took me out of the womb: thou didst make me hope when  I was upon my mother's breasts.

10 I was cast upon thee from the womb: thou art my God from my mother's  belly.

So David has shown so much humility.Srila Bhaktivinoda Thakura has also shown us the prayers of humility in his Saranagati:

1) I forsook You, O Lord,  and came to this world of pain and sorrow. Now I submit my tale of woe at Your lotus feet.

2) While still in the  unbearable fetters of my mother’s womb, I saw You  before me You revealed Yourself but briefly and then abandoned this poor servant  of Yours.

3) At that moment I swore  to worship You after taking birth; but birth came, and  with it the network of wordly illusion which robbed me  of all good sense.

4) As a fondled son in the  lap of relatives, I passed my time smiling and laughing. My parents’ affection  helped me to forget the pangs of birth, and I thought the world was very  nice.

5) Day by day I grew and  soon began playing with other boys. Shortly my powers of understanding emerged.  I read and studied my lessons incessantly.

6) Travelling from place to place, proud of my education, I  grew wealthy and maintained my family with undivided attention. O Lord Hari, I forgot You!

7) Now in old age, Bhaktivinoda is sad. He weeps. I failed to worship You, O  Lord, and instead passed my life in vain. What will be my fate now

song 3

1) When I was young, I  greatly desired to earn money. At that time bearing in mind the codes of  religion, I took a wife.

2) Together we set up a  household, wasted much time, had many sons and daughters... my heart grew  heavy.

3) The burden increased day  by day, I felt my life at a standstill. Old age came, grabbed me, and made my  mind fickle and disturbed.

4) Diseases trouble me now,  and constant anxiety has made me feverish. My heart burns from lack of  satisfaction, and I see no way out. All is darkness and I am very much  afraid.

5) The current of this  worldly river is strong and relentless. A frightening, gloomy death approaches.  How I wish I could give up my worldly attachments. I would worship You, O Lord,  but it is a useless hope.

6) Now please hear me, O  Lord, for I am utterly helpless. Bhaktivinoda says, “Without Your mercy, everything is lost. Please give me the shelter of Your lotus feet.”

song 4:

1) I am an impious sinner  and have caused others great anxiety and trouble.

2) I have never hesitated  to perform sinful act for my own enjoyment. Devoid of all compassion, concerned  only with my own selfish interests, I am remorseful seeing others happy. I am a  perpetual liar, and the misery of others is a source of great pleasure for  me.

3) The material desires  within the core of my heart are unlimited. I am wrathful, devoted to false pride  and arrogance, intoxicated by vanity, and bewildered by worldly affairs. Envy  and egotism are the ornaments I wear.

4) Ruined by laziness and  sleep, I resist all pious deeds; yet I am very active and enthusiastic to  perform wicked acts. For worldly fame and reputation I engage in the practice of  deceitfulness. Thus I am destroyed by my own greed and am always  lustful.

5) A vile, wicked man such  as this, rejected by godly people, is a constant offender. I am such a person,  devoid of all good works, forever inclined toward evil, worn out and wasted by  various miseries.

6) Now in old age, deprived  of all means of success, humbled and poor, Bhaktivinoda submits his tale of grief at the feet of the  Supreme Lord.

Song Lyrics: AmarJivan Sada Pape Rata

Purport Author: A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami

Amara jivanasada pape rata nahiko punyera lesa. This  is a song sung by Bhaktivinoda Thakura in Vaisnava humbleness. A Vaisnava is always meek and humble. So he is  describing the life of the people in general, taking himself to be one of them.  He says that “My life is always engaged in sinful activities, and if you try to  find out, you will not find even a trace of pious activities—only sinful  activities.” And parere udvega, diyachi ye koto, diyachi jivere klesa: “I am  always inclined to give trouble to other living entities. That is my business. I  want to see that others are suffering, and then I enjoy.” Nija sukha lagi’, pape nahi dori: “For my personal  sense gratification, I accept any kind of sinful activity.” Daya-hina svartha-paro: “I am not at all merciful, and I  see only to my personal interest.” Para-sukhe duhkhi, sada mithya-bhasi: “As such, when others are suffering  I become very happy, and I am always speaking lies. Even for ordinary tbings I am accustomed to speaking lies.” Para-duhkha sukha-karo: “Andif someone is suffering, that is very pleasant to me.” Asesa kamana, hrdi majhe mora: “I have got lots of desires within my  heart, and I am always angry and falsely prestigious, always puffed up with  false pride.” Mada-matta sada visaye mohita: “I am captivated by subject matters of  sense gratification, and I am almost crazy.” Himsa-garva vibhusana: “My ornaments are enviousness and false pride.” Nidralasya hata, sukarye virata: “I am  conquered by sleep and laziness, and I am always averse to pious activities.” Akarye udyogiami: “And I am very enthusiastic to perform  impious activities.” Pratistha lagiya sathya-acarana: “I  always cheat others for my prestige.” Lobha-hata sada kami: “I am conquered by greediness and always  lusty.” E heno durjanasaj-jana-varjita: “I am so fallen, and I have no  association with devotees.” Aparadhi nirantara: “I am an offender always.” Subha-karya-sunya: “In my life there is not a  bit of auspicious activity”; sadanarthamanah: “and my mind is always attracted by  something mischievous.” Nana duhkhe jara jara: “Therefore, at the  fag end of my life I am almost invalid by all such sufferings.” Bardhakye ekhona upaya-vihina: “Now in my old age I have no alternative”; ta’te dina akincana: “therefore by force I have now become very humble and meek.” Bhakativinoda prabhuracarane, kore duhkha nivedana: “Thus Bhaktivinoda Thakura is offering  his sad statement of his life’s activities at the lotus feet of the Supreme  Lord.”

Vaisnava das anu das

Paramananda das