Giriraja you are my life and soul!

[Paramananda das]

Giriraja you are my life and soul!


I can not live without you, you are my GBC,TP regional secretary, my Guru, and you make up


for the loving god brothers I never had. The day I neglect you is a hell, the day I worship you and think of you


and chant 64 rounds in front of you is bliss and I am alive spiritually.What is the use of so much Bhakti if it


does not include Your seva?How can anyone attain seva to Radha Krsna without your mercy?It is not possible.


Worship of Radha Krsna without Your worship Giriraja is fraud. My dear Gauranga gave Raghunath das Goswami a


Govardhana


Sila and a place at Radha Krsnas lotusfeet.Giriraja where ever you are is Vrindavan,so many


kind devotees in Vrindava tell me never leave Vrindavan even for preaching.But Giriraja when I worship you I am in


Vraja wether I go to heaven or hell,will you manifest yourself to me please again birth after birth .However those


who carefully worship you will attain eternal residence in Gokula Vrindavan.When Raghunath das Goswami has asked me


to daily worship you in his Manah Siksa,he has done a great service by making me aware I need your mercy so much.


I am empty hearted and very fallen, Raghunath das Goswami considered himself a criminal in front of you, but I am


not even a criminal, but an agent of Kali , and unfortunate soul bewildered by Kali and his agents, lust anger,


greed,envy illusion and madness.Giri raja seeing me so fallen, will you not please help me.There is no candidate


more worth of your compassion, if you can save fallen me, the you are surely known as Pattita Pava.


If I can not worship you daily with Jasmines and Tulsi and lotus flowers I feel like an offender,in the western


worlds to find you nice smelling flowers even is sometimes hard.What is that manasa puja of mine ? I have


not much faith in it,if I did I would properly find more inner peace.When I can not offer you so many Tulsi leaves


it burns my soul.How can I properly worship you in this hell of the western world? Still you have agreed


to be with me .Recently in hospital I could not worship you for almost a week.I was very sad about that .But I know


you are merciful when others ignore me , flatter me or respect me, or hate me, or try to use me for their


economical gains and power of prestige games.When and how will I worship you in Gokula dear Giriraja ? Will


I not be able to play at your side, in the company of Krsna -Balarama and the many cowherd boys?Will I not be able


to sit in one of your caves with Krsna , and serve you and be allowed to serve Krsna and Balarama.Forgive me


then for stepping on you, as I do so out of service to Krsna and Balarama.Will you please allow me to witness


the Danakeli pastimes and unlimited lillas of Radha Krsna.Giriraja how will someone as fallen as me


serve Radha Krsna ?I know it will happen by the mercy of Srila Prabhupada, the Pancatattva and Your Grace.


Taking your carnamrta is like bathing in all holy places in Vraja, and what to speak of other holy places .


Shyama kunda and Radha Kunda are the divine eyes of your peacock like form, I pray you may one day show


me how you are a transcendental peacock and a mountain that is Saccidananda vigraha.As long as you are here, the


inhabitants of this earth planet is not so bad of.But I have seen recently how boys are diving in the polluted


waters of Yamuna to find some money the pilgrims left in there.The condition of Yamunadevi worries me.It is a


symptom and bad omen of many bad things to come.The asuras are trying to destroy Vraja,and it is happening


every day.Will you please inspire some pure souls to protect Vraja, so seva to Radha Krsna can flow without


hindrance .I do not know how to purely serve you, please give me this wretched sinner and lowest of men,


an opportunity to keep serving your eternally. Please infuse remembrance of Radha Krsna and Their lilas in my heart.


Please make me disinterested in other subject outside of Radha Krsnas lilas, please help me renounce the hell


of family life and the hell of living outside of Vraja.Please bring me to Vraja and please never take me out of


there again.Giriraja I have no


other shelter and no other true friends, I have only your mercy.


Begging eternally for you mercy dear Giriraja, my dear Girigovvardhana, Krsnup held you up by His divine hand


and left pinkie finger, Giriraja please uphold my spiritual life and give me spiritual strength.


What will I do without you, please brake my unlimited sufferings and please engage me in Radha Krsnas seva.


I have no other shelter.

[Paramananda das]

when I write Yamunas polluted waters, I am talking about the human waste, chemicals etc being dumped into Her sacred waters daily