Overcoming resentment,anger and hatred

[Paramananda das]

PAMHO

AGTSP

I saw that Mahatma Prabhu is giving a seminar about overcoming resentment, most have some kind of resentment against someone.

Here is a good exercise :

Krsna, I acknowledge that I've held resentment and bitterness against _______________. I confess this as sin and ask you to forgive me. I forgive __________________. Remind me, dear Krsna, to not hold any more resentments, but rather to love this person. Krsna, I ask you to also forgive ______________________.

The Bible is full of good advise about this:

When you are offended or disappointed by others and allow the hurt to germinate in your heart, bitterness and resentment will take root. Characterized by an unforgiving spirit and generally negative, critical attitudes, bitterness and resentment are sinful and self-defeating. They will color your conscious and unconscious thoughts and actions. Allowed to fester, they will destroy and kill (Galatians 5:19-21)

‎"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" (Ephesians 4:31,32).

"When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly" (I Peter 2:23).

"Jesus said, Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing..." (Luke 23:34).

"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins" (Matthew 6:14,15).

"Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord. On the contrary: 'If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:14-21).

Jesus Christ taught us to not even hate those who act as our enemies, but we might have to avoid such envious persons, but  we should hate the sin not the sinner, pray for the sinner 

"Not forgiving someone is like drinking poison
and expecting the other person to die.“
~ Unknown

In Bhagavad Gita Krsnas has advised us:

advesta sarva-bhutanam
maitrah karuna eva ca
nirmamo nirahankarah
sama-duhkha-sukhah ksami

santustah satatam yogi
yatatma drdha-niscayah
mayy arpita-mano-buddhir
yo mad-bhaktah sa me priyah

"One who is not envious but is a kind friend to all living entities, who does not think himself a proprietor and is free from false ego, who is equal in both happiness and distress, who is tolerant, always satisfied, self-controlled, and engaged in devotional service with determination, his mind and intelligence fixed on Me—such a devotee of Mine is very dear to Me."

 

 

Commentary by Srila Prabhupada 

Coming again to the point of pure devotional service, the Lord is describing the transcendental qualifications of a pure devotee in these two verses. A pure devotee is never disturbed in any circumstances. Nor is he envious of anyone. Nor does a devotee become his enemy’s enemy; he thinks, “This person is acting as my enemy due to my own past misdeeds. So it is better to suffer than to protest.” In the Srimad-Bhagavatam (10.14.8) it is stated: tat te ’nukampam susamiksamano bhunjana evatma-kritam vipakam. Whenever a devotee is in distress or has fallen into difficulty, he thinks that it is the Lord’s mercy upon him. He thinks, “Thanks to my past misdeeds I should suffer far, far greater than I am suffering now. So it is by the mercy of the Supreme Lord that I am not getting all the punishment I am due. I am just getting a little, by the mercy of the Supreme Personality of Godhead.” Therefore he is always calm, quiet and patient, despite many distressful conditions. A devotee is also always kind to everyone, even to his enemy. 

Nirmama means that a devotee does not attach much importance to the pains and trouble pertaining to the body because he knows perfectly well that he is not the material body. He does not identify with the body; therefore he is freed from the conception of false ego and is equipoised in happiness and distress. He is tolerant, and he is satisfied with whatever comes by the grace of the Supreme Lord. He does not endeavor much to achieve something with great difficulty; therefore he is always joyful. He is a completely perfect mystic because he is fixed in the instructions received from the spiritual master, and because his senses are controlled he is determined. He is not swayed by false arguments, because no one can lead him from the fixed determination of devotional service. He is fully conscious that Krishna is the eternal Lord, so no one can disturb him. All these qualifications enable him to fix his mind and intelligence entirely on the Supreme Lord. Such a standard of devotional service is undoubtedly very rare, but a devotee becomes situated in that stage by following the regulative principles of devotional service. Furthermore, the Lord says that such a devotee is very dear to Him, for the Lord is always pleased with all his activities in full Krishna consciousness.

Commentary by Sri Visvanatha Cakravarti Thakur

What is the description of the devotee who has attained such peace? In response, different natures of many types of devotees are described in eight verses.

Advesta means that one does not have hatred even for those who hate you. Rather one has friendliness towards them (maitrah). One is merciful to them, thinking that they should not end up in unfortunate circumstances (karunah).

"But by making what type of discriminating powers can one have friendliness and mercy even to enemies?"

"One should not make distinctions at all. By non-possessiveness of children and wife (nirmamah), by not thinking of the body as the self (nirahankarah), my devotee never develops hatred. Why should he accept such distinctions if he wants to reduce suffering produced from hatred (a distinction)?"

"But then one will be suffering pain in the body by getting punched or kicked."

"It is said by Siva:

narayana-parah sarve na kutascana bibhyati 
svargapavarga-narakesv api tulyartha-darsinah

Devotees solely engaged in the devotional service of the Supreme Personality of Godhead, Narayana, never fear any condition of life. For them the heavenly planets, liberation and the hellish planets are all the same, for such devotees are interested only in the service of the Lord. SB 6.17.28

"One should consider happiness and distress equally (sama duhkha sukham). Moreover, that person thinks that he should necessarily endure his prarabdha karmas. In being equal to happiness and distress, he should be tolerant of the suffering (ksami)." Ksami means having tolerance, coming from the root ksam meaning to endure.

"But how will such a devotee be able to maintain his life?"

"He is satisfied to eat what comes of its own accord, or with very little effort (santusthah)."

"But since you have said that one should be equal in happiness and distress, then how can one express satisfaction (santusthah) with getting something to eat?"

"That person is constantly engaged in bhakti yoga (satatam yogi). He is acting for the purpose of attaining perfection in bhakti. It is said:

aharartham yatataiva yuktam tat-prana-dharanam 
tattvam vimrsyate tena tad vijnaya param vrajet

If required, one should endeavor to get sufficient foodstuffs, because it is always necessary and proper to maintain one's health. When the senses, mind and life air are fit, one can contemplate spiritual truth, and by understanding the truth one is liberated. SB 11.18.34

"Moreover, by chance he does not attain required food, his mind is restrained (yata atma), without agitation. If his mind happens to become disturbed, he does not resort to astanga yoga or other processes to bring about peace. He remains convinced that he should only perform ananya bhakti (drdha niscayah). His devotion does not become weakened. The cause of all of this is mentioned: he should be absorbed in meditating on and contemplating me (mayy arpita mano buddhih). Such a devotee greatly pleases me (me priyah)."

 

your servant

Payonidhi das

 

this is mundane but interesting

http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/how-to-overcome-resentment/

 

 

Rudra Vaisnava Sampradaya:

 

Visnuswami

 

Sridhara Swami's Commentary

 

 

2

The characteristics of Lord Krishna's devotees which quickly lead to divine grace are now being elucidated in seven verses beginning with advesta-sarva- bhutanam meaning devoid of malice towards anyone, is non-envious of anyone and benevolent towards everyone, free from concepts of possessiveness and ideas of ego consciousness as well as free from false identification of being the physical body, compassionate to the unfortunate, always forgiving, content and cheerful with loss or gain, tolerant, equipoise in happiness or distress, satisfied with what comes by its own accord, firmly resolved in the teachings of the spiritual master about the Supreme Lord, one is contemplative and dedicating their mind, intellect and heart to the Supreme Lord Krishna is very dear to Him.

 

 

 

Kumara Vaisnava Sampradaya:

 

Nimbaditya

 

Kesava Kasmiri's Commentary

 

Lord Krishna explained in the previous verse that by following renunciation for the rewards of actions one achieves the Supreme peace. Now explaining further He declares that His devotee who has become renounced should also possess the virtues given in seven verses beginning with advesta sarva-bhutanam meaning free from enmity towards any living being. One reflects that all misfortunes are due to their past karma or reactions from one's own actions. One is alsokaruna or compassionate to those in need and is nirmamo or free from possessiveness of even relatives and nirahankarah or ego sense from even one's physical body and things other than theatma or eternal soul. Who is dukha-sukha or even minded and self-satisfied in happiness or distress with whatever comes of its own accord. Who is ksami or tolerant and drdha-niscayameaning firmly resolved and resolutely determined to fully follow the teachings of the spiritual master and the Vedic scriptures and perform bhakti or exclusive loving devotion to Lord Krishna. One who has ceased to pursue the desires of the senses and mental tendencies of the mind and has instead directed their consciousness internally to the atma in the heart surrendering their mind and intelligence to the Supreme Lord Krishna verily worship Him and are very dear to Him.

 

 

 

Sri Vaisnava Sampradaya:

 

Ramanuja

 

Ramanuja's Commentary

 

 

7

 

8 The Supreme Lord Krishna confirms that the qualities He is describing are applicable to yo mad-bhaktah which means His exclusive devotee. The word advesta means free from hatred for any being at any time. Maitrahmeans benign and showing good will to all, both well-wishers and ill-wishers by the understanding that they are merely following the tendencies of the impulse imparted to them by the Supreme Lord in relation to one's own good and bad actions. Karunah means compassionate, to be sympathetic towards the sufferings of others, friend and foe alike. Nirmamah means devoid of sentiments of possessiveness and ego related conceptions mine-ness regarding the physical body, family and associated relationships and objects. Nirahankarah means free from the false conception of thinking one's self to be the physical body and consequently unaffected by the dualities of material existence such as pain and pleasure, praise and ridicule, joy and grief, etc. all based upon the mentality of the mind. Ksami means tolerant, to be unaffected by external incidents such as physical accidents or catastrophes. Santustah means always content with whatever comes along by its own accord for the purpose of bodily sustenance. Satatam yogi is one who always engages themselves to the science of the individual consciousness attaining communion with the ultimate consciousness in loving devotion to the Supreme Lord. Satatammeans always and has two meaning: one is to be continuously and perpetually engaged in bhaktior exclusive loving devotion to Lord Krishna at every moment and two is to engage in this bhaktito Lord Krishna in all ways meaning in every possibility and facet of one's life. Yatatma means the ability to govern and control the workings of the mind. Drdha-niscayah means firmly resolved in the knowledge of the Vedic scriptures regarding the immortality of the atma or eternal soul and the Supreme Lord and irrevocably established in bhakti to the Lord Krishna. Arpita-mano-buddhir means who dedicates their intelligence and consciousness to the Supreme Lord by performing activities dedicated to Him without desire for recompense. Then when the Supreme Lord Krishna is worshipped in this way He would Himself guide one internally to achieve atmatattva or realisation of the soul and attain communion with Him. One who possesses all these qualities is very dear to Supreme Lord Krishna and is me priyah or the recepient of His love