Vaisnava Amrta chapter 9 :Srila Prabhupadas and Lord Caitanya mercy on me

[Paramananda das]

Before the Srila Prabhupadas marathon in 1983 in Germany , Harikesa came to a place devotees had purchased near the city of Koblenz it was called Laubach and in the country site , it was a former guest house and hotel and so there was enough space for the over hundred devotees either selling paintings or Srila Prabhupadas books .So during the lecture he mentioned devotees could let the books fly because the Laxmi had already been covered by devotees selling paintings.That time also printing Srila Prabhupadas Russian Bhagavad Gita was taking place and free Russian Gitas was given away everywhere that Laxmi also came from the selling of paintings so though this was illegal it facilitated the distribution of Srila Prabhupadas books .Harikesa mentioned that Lord Caitanya would personally embrace that devotee that took bookdistribution fully to heart and said how would you like to feel Lord Caitanyas embrace while distributing Srila Prabhupadas books? I thought there is nothing else I want in this world but is it possible even for me.However I had full faith in the words of my Gurudeva that Lord Caitanya could embrace me.So I prayed for it every day during that Marathon and I chanted almost 64 rounds daily , during that year in 1983 I was chanting 64 rounds daily when we where selling paintings ,this is how I first really started doing 64 rounds .So around Christmas in 1983 ,the 22th of December I was chanting in the morning in Nuremberg before the day of intense bookdistribution , I had prayed to Lord Narasimha the day before that Nuremberg used to be the center of Hitlers propaganda and that your dear Lord Narasimha please destroy all demoniac mentality in our hearts and all the nondevotees and make them devotees.I was distributing 7canto . SO the next morning while chanting Japa in a park in Nuremberg ,I was a little away from the other Sankirtana devotees ,I believe I was with my dear Godbrother Visvadeva Prabhu who was the sankirtana leader .So all of a sudden I saw this sannyasi with shaven head and with golden effulgence rush towards me embrace me and was gone .I then realized it was Lord Caitanya and my eyes filled with tears .I could not hold it to myself it was to much nectar to not share with the other devotees.Then I was told to call Harikesa Swami my Gurudeva, he told me that Lord Caitanya had indeed blessed me and I was meant for great things in his service.
I never met Lord Gauranga again like this ,but it increased my love for Lord Caitanya thousand folds and I had just been reading the CC every day in Antya lila of Lord Caitanyas pastimes and the pastime I was on was when Lord Caitanya fell into the sea and got caught by the fisherman.That pastime is my favorite and I felt Lord Caitanyas presence so much when I read this pastime.Thus though I am the lowest of the low and most fallen soul ,Lord Caitanya has even blessed a fallen soul like me ,I think it is because I am the most fallen , so he especially choose to give mercy to me first , my disqualifications for Bhakti was met on that day by Lord Caitanya Himself ,I am just sharing this to show how Srila Prabhupadas and Lord Caitanyas mercy are so great.I want to narrate another bookdistribution pastime from 1981 in Copenhagen ,we had moved into a new temple in Copenhagen and I had some problems with ingrown big toe nail so I was seeing this doctor for this problem (very pious elderly lady and she bought all of Srila Prabhupadas books I brought and her husband also was interested in KC) So one day I could not go with Janesvara Prabhu and the other sankirtana devotees due to this nail problem so I went to the city of Koege and I was feeling a bit lonely because I was not with other sankirtana devotees and all alone in the temple ,so I prayed to Srila Prabhupada that your are my spiritual father, and please Srila Prabhupada allow me to feel your presence while I distribute your books.Innocent and pure desire but guess what Srila Prabhupada and Krsna fulfilled my desire and I started feeling Srila Prabhupadas intense presence on sankirtana like he was walking next to me ,I did 70 big books that day and was just so happy Srila Prabhupada was with me .I have often felt Srila Prabhupadas words come true in my life and also many times Srila Prabhupadas out of his mercy to me has come to me in my dreams to save fallen me .One time I wondered about how many devotees complete their 16 rounds Srila Prabhupada came to me in the dream that night:" You will faint if you knew how many devotees are not completing their 16 rounds daily ".Another time I was lamenting I could not got out every day and distribute Srila Prabhupadas books .That night Srila Prabhupada came to me in my dream : " You have distributed enough books and pleased me many times over ", I was shocked in my dream of Srila Prabhupadas statement , but extremely pleased at heart .Srila Prabhupada said : "You distribute as many books when you can ,do not worry or be anxious ". I have always felt anxious that the whole world needs Srila Prabhupadas books and I have always wanted to please Srila Prabhupada ,I offered my obaisences to Srila Prabhupada and woke up it was not only a dream .In this way though I never met Srila Prabhupada in person ,I have felt Srila Prabhupadas presence in my life.Srila Prabhupada also came to me in my dreams in Navadvipa in 2004 and told me I want you be in ISKCON only , and I told Srila Prabhupada in my dream about the problems with so many ISKCON leaders and devotees that do not follow KC properly and Srila Prabhupada told me I want you to be in my ISKCON always and assist me and encourage other devotees.Actually that time I was with Srila Narayana Maharaja and his disciples doing Navadvipa Mandal parikrama ,but I was also having a room in ISKCON Mayapure so I would go forth and back .Srila Prabhupada was clear I want you to be in my ISKCON always
I hope no one will take offence to me sharing this , my motive is simply to share Lord Caitanyas and Srila Prabhupadas mercy on me without them I am a zero , they have put value into my life
I like to glorify Lord Caitanya with this beautiful song of Srila Narahari Sarkara Thakura :
GAURANGA MORA DHARAMA
Composed by Shrila Narahari Sarkara Thakura
( Gaura Ganodessa Dipika
[177. Shrimati Radharani's dear friend,the vraja-gopi named Madhumati-devi, appeared as Narahari Sarakara, who was very dear to Lord Gauranga.]
He is mentioned in the Gaura Artik song we sing daily:
mana re! kaha na gauranga katha
"O my mind, please constantly speak
Gauranga Katha and chant Gauranga's Holy Name.This is my advice to you."
gaurara nama amiyara dhama,
piriti murati data
"O mind! Speak only about Gauranga.
Gauranga's Holy Name is the supreme abode of all nectar and the only worshipable and personified bestower of unnatojjvala-prema [unalloyed love and attachment] to Their Lordships Nityananda and Gauranga and Their Lordships Shri Shri Radha and Krishna."
sayane gaura svapane gaura,
gaura nayanera tara;
jivane gaura marane gaura,
gaura galara hara
"While sleeping I want to only remember Gauranga's Name and while dreaming I want to think only about Gauranga. Lord Gauranga Mahaprabhu is the exclusive star and the vision of my eyes. During my life there will be only Gauranga and at the time of my death Gauranga's Name will be my only shelter. Gauranga's Holy Name is the most precious necklace I constantly wear around my neck with great happiness."
hiyara majhare gauranga rakhiye, virale vasiya rabo
manera sadhete se rupa-candere, nayane nayane thobo
"Keeping Gauranga deeply and steadily inside my heart and His Holy Name continuously on my tongue, I will sit alone in a solitary place and relish Them constantly without any external disturbance. Thus I will fix my mind on His supremely enchanting golden moon-like form. I will gaze in Lord Gauranga's beautiful eyes and become absorbed in His beauty while chanting His Holy Name."
gaura vihane na vanchi parane,
gaura korechi sara
gaura boliya jauka jivane,
kichu na cahibo ara
"Without Gauranga's Name I do not desire to maintain this body or live in this world. Lord Gauranga and His Holy Name are the very essence of my existence. I have only one desperate prayer in my life: to be able to give up my life while uttering the Holy Name of Gauranga --- I ask for nothing else in this world."
gaura gamana, gaura gathana,
gaura mukhera hamsi
gaura-piriti, gaura murati,
hiyaya rahalo pasi
"May Lord Gauranga's graceful movements, Lord Gauranga's splendid features and characteristics, Lord Gauranga's sweet smiling lotus face, love and attachment for Lord Gauranga's Name, and Lord Gauranga's nectarean delicate form --- all of Them forcibly and spontaneously enter and remain manifest in my heart at every moment."
gauranga dharama, gauranga karama,
gauranga vedera sara
gaura charane, parana samarpinu,
gaura karibena para
"Gauranga is my only Dharma or religion, Gauranga is the only object or goal of all my karma or endeavour and Gauranga's Holy Name is the distilled essence of all the Vedas. I completely surrender my life, mind, body, heart and soul at Lord Gauranga's lotus feet. I am fully certain that it is only Lord Gauranga's Holy Name Who will take me across the impassable ocean of material existence."
gaura sabda gaura sampada,
jahara hiyaya jage
narahari dasa tara carane,
sarana mage
"Gauranga's Name and Instructions are the essential sound vibrations and the exclusive treasures for that fortunate person in whose heart Lord Gauranga manifests Himself by His causeless mercy. Narahari dasa always prays and begs to be able to take shelter at the lotus feet of such an exalted devotee without any hesitation."
I beg to remain the eternal servant of Srila Prabhupada and Lord Caitanya and of all devotees in ISKCON

Lord Visnu revealed himself to  Daksa and had conversation with him and there is the Hamsa Guhya prayers in Srimad Bhagavatam ,however Daksa stilled made offences later to first Narada Muni because he freed all his sons from Samsara birth and death by making them sannyasis.Secondly he offended his son in law Lord Siva and was given a head of a goat,so even if we may attain darshan of the Supreme Lord ,Srimad Bhagavatam warns us of Vaisnava aparadha